Tips for single moms to build relationships with one another:
To piggyback on my very first article, Single mothers band together to help each other out, I wanted to come back periodically and give you not only updates on the three mothers I focused on , but to give you some tips on how you too can develop similar bonds with other single moms in your neighborhoods and surrounding areas.I think it is extremely important to understand that although we may encounter a situation that leaves us raising our children alone, we most certainly do not have to bare this sometimes overwhelming task all by ourselves. You see, whether you know it or not, you may have a neighbor that only lives houses or even a couple of blocks away that is also holding it down by her lonesome.
Whether you live in Botswana, Africa or in Wilmington, Delaware, you are truly not alone. Here are a few tips to get you started participating in and contributing to the concept of that old saying, " It takes a village to raise a child!"
#1. When you find yourself at your child's school or daycare, speak to other parents and mothers. The only way to meet people is to first ackowledge that you see them. It is kind and curteous to speak to people, whether it is staff or a fellow-parent.
#2. Ask questions and get to know who your children are around and who their parents are.
When your kids are out playing and or participating in events where other kids and parents are a part of, find out who is who. Find out who lives near or around you and what are their names. Do not be afraid to ask children what their parents names are and if you can meet them.
#3. Get acquainted with the parents and moms of other children you know have a single parent household. You may not even realize how either you can help this other parent or how this other parent may be able to help you. You may just find that you need someone to talk to in the interim that your child has an issue that you are not familair with or do not have any experience with. You may simply want another child to be able to stay the night or if your child wants to sleep over a friend's house, you may want to know who the mother is.
In my city, Wilmington, I live in what is known as Southbridge.
We have a facility called the Neighborhood House ( www.neighborhoodhse.org/) and there are several basketball courts in the surrounding area of our neighborhood. We have a couple of Barber shops, corner stores, even a Metro PCS store, a local cleaners and a BP gas station, all within a 10 block radius of walking distance. We have a Firehouse and of course your local Liquor store as well as churches and a few other places of business. There are residents who have lived here for more than 30-40 years. There is no reason that single mothers, fathers and parents can't get to know one another and build relationships to help our youth prosper and become successful in life.
One last tip before I go,
#4. Get your children involved in these programs and recreational facilities and establish a repore with the people helping to occupy your children's time, motivate and encourage them to stay out of trouble and educate them to improve and succeed in their lives. It may feel like we are all alone when the bills are due and not enough money is coming in, or our children encounter situations that bewilder and confuse us at times, but if you at least make an effort to try some of the tips I have suggested, things will get better,one moment, one event, one day at a time. Other people are in place to do their part, so as the parents, single or not, we should give them the benefit of the doubt and share in the responsibility to utilize the help that is available by building relationships with others who are traveling the same road we are, this may make the journey less lonely in the end.
Big thanks to this site.
ALTHOUGH I still have to be on bed rest, I am looking forward to hitting my second trimester. Hopefully the dizziness, grouchiness, and sluggishness I’m feeling will slowly disappear.
At the moment, I can’t even seem to want to brush my hair. The only thing that seems inviting is to soak in the tub to ward off the unbearable heat, which seems to be radiating from my body. Now I know why they say every pregnancy is different.
A few weeks back, I was with my son in Powerplant and bumped into Daphne Oseña-Paez. It was only after five minutes of chatting that I noticed she was pregnant. But she looked so good!
It also surprised me to find out she was on her third trimester. I asked her to share five pampering tips for pregnant women since I know we sometimes need help in taking care of ourselves at this delicate time.
Here’s what Daphne shared:
Get a pedicure. An occasional pedicure won’t hurt. But stay away from foot spas, since they can trigger contractions. It’s best to bring your own pedicure gadgets so you are sure the items are clean. Since you will most likely wear flats and open-toed shoes for a few months, having pretty toes can really be a boost.
Have your hair shampooed and blow-dried at a salon. Pregnant women should stay away from chemical treatments and hair-dyes. In order to feel glamorous or, at least, neat, I have been treating myself to regular washes and blowouts at the salon, in the process discovering some inexpensive neighborhood places. Sometimes I bring my own shampoo, conditioner and brushes to ensure quality and hygiene.
The service? Not bad for P150.
When I’m due for a major function or appearance, I head to Emphasis Salon.
Go for regular facial cleaning with a dermatologist. Just because you’re pregnant doesn’t mean you should forget about skin care. There are creams and ointments that are forbidden for pregnant women, such as retinoic acid and other whitening products. Given the hormonal imbalance that can cause breakouts and darkening, a visit to a dermatologist can help.
I haven’t stopped going for monthly cleaning with my dermatologist, Doctor Gilbert Yang. No lasers and fancy creams for me; he just cleans my pores and clears away whiteheads. When my skin gets too dry, I apply Olay Total Effects.
Slather on tummy cream. I don’t believe any cream or oil can totally eradicate the stretch marks. But some products can give relief from dryness and itchiness (scratching eventually might cause scars).
During my first two pregnancies, I splurged on Clarins Tonic Oil. I didn’t get any stretch marks. For this pregnancy, I’ve discovered a more budget-friendly solution to my dry and itchy growing tummy: Palmer’s Organics Tummy Butter for Stretch Marks. It’s one-fifth cheaper than Clarins Tonic Oil. It has Vitamin E, collagen, elastin and soothing lavender, and it’s paraben-free and mineral oil-free. I get the same relief at a much lower price. And I love the smell.
Wear makeup and get dressed up. I was in a rut during my first trimester. All I wanted to do was lie in bed like a sloth. But because I had to continue working (as host of “Urban Zone”), I had to get dolled up at least once a week. I had to wear nice outfits and full makeup.
For those who don’t work in front of the camera, I highly suggest you make an effort to look good. Even minimal makeup can boost your mood and self-image. Put on some lip gloss and blush. Or if you want to go the extra mile, play with eye makeup.
Now is also the time to enjoy fashion. There are a lot of non-maternity clothes available off-the-rack, and these can take you up to your 40th week.
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