Even though some of my mothering skills came naturally, like realizing I could nurse my newborn son, Conrad, while walking up the spiral staircase, my confidence as a new mom was hard-won.
I always assumed there was a book, or a gadget, or one of Angelina Jolie's nannies, who knew how to do everything better than I could.
Worse, I thought my lack of mothering-nerve was a blemish on the image of the perfect mom I wanted to be. (I hadn't yet realized that trying to be perfect was ridiculous.)
I kept my insecurities to myself and continued to shop for stuff I didn't need and buy tomes that were better used as stacking blocks.
Then I got a card from an older family friend, and all she wrote was this: "One day you will feel like you know what you're doing."
Six years, many mistakes, and another baby boy later, I do. But that card let me start to trust myself more every day. Parenting.com: Are you pregnant? 16 signs you might be
Well, dear reader, consider this your own card from an old friend. We've gathered the best, most ingenious it-worked-for-me tips from moms and childcare experts to help you sail, not sob, through all the small but significant day-to-day acts of being a mom. Confidence, here you come.
Three instant-soothers you can count on
1. Try the triple play
Rub lavender essential oil on the back of your neck for a calming scent (feel free to swipe your kid's Johnson & Johnson lotion). Then wrap your baby in a blanket and gently bounce on a fitness ball or the edge of the bed, suggests Jill Wodnick, a doula in Montclair, New Jersey, and mother of Nathaniel, 7, Sebastian, 4, and Emerson, 2.
2. Head to the loo
Need help fast? Run the bathroom fan and faucet. Low, droning noises remind your little one of hearing your heartbeat in utero, says Dr. Altmann, mother of Avrick, 4, and Collen, 2.
3. Create a toddler cocoon
"When toddlers throw tantrums, they often need to block out stimulation in order to calm down," says Corinne G. Catalano, school psychologist at the Ben Samuels Children's Center at Montclair State University.
So instead of picking up your tot, make a "cave" or cocoonlike space by throwing a blanket over a small table and allowing him to climb under it.
If you've got a pop-up kid tent, that will work, too. Give him his lovey and a pillow, and he'll have the soothing sanctuary he needs to regroup.
Help the medicine go down (or in)
Who hasn't squirted Motrin into her toddler's ear when he's putting up a feverish fight?
Take a cue from Mary Poppins and mix a dose of medicine with chocolate syrup, suggests Tanya Altmann, M.D., author of "Mommy Calls".
For toddlers and older babies on solid foods, medicine will seem like a treat!
Another option: Refrigerate OTC meds. Cold can mask the taste. For eyedrops, lay your baby on her back and put a toy on her belly so she'll look down.
If she's old enough to follow directions, just tell her to close her eyes. Place a drop on the inner corner of the eye, right by her nose. When she looks up or opens her eye, the drop will fall right in. (Works for drowsing pets, too!)
Ten things you never knew you could do with one hand
1. text-message
2. make spaghetti
3. feed a pet
4. wrap a present using a mini-shopping bag, tissue, and a stick-on bow
5. brush an older child's hair
6. fold baby clothes and put back in drawers
7. repot a plant
8. write thank-you notes
9. whip up a smoothie
10. tend to husband's personal needs (if you know what we mean)
Parenting.com: Healthy grab-and-go foods: No utensils needed!
Happier hair washing
Turn this often torturous process into something your toddler will look forward to: Treat her to a salon visit right in your own home, suggests Parenting Mom Squad expert Denene Millner, of Snellville, Georgia.
What to do:
1. Talk in a fancy voice and ask her to lie down on the kitchen counter, with her head hanging over the sink, just like she would if she were sitting in the shampoo chair at a salon.
2. Roll Up a towel and put it under her neck for support.
3. Let her lean back and enjoy. Use your fingers to give her a head massage while you shampoo.
4. Rinse, wrap hair up in a turban.
5. Accept kisses as tips.
Better bangs
The unfortunate hallmark of an at-home trim is poorly cut bangs. The secret? Don't cut them from ear to ear. Instead, trim them in from the outside edge of each eyebrow.
Car seats on the fly
Many a parent has suffered a long flight with a crying baby only to discover that she can't get the car seat out of the airplane seat.
Because airline seatbelts open with a pull lever, the belt can easily get wedged in the car-seat back once it has been tightened. If you can't pull the lever, well, you're stuck. Parenting.com: 10 superpowers of pregnant women
Avoid this problem with two solutions that are FAA compliant: Ask your airline attendant for a seat-belt extender, suggests Troy Lanier, coauthor of "DadLabs Guide to Fatherhood."
The extender attaches to and lengthens the belt so you can reach the buckle when deplaning. If you can't get their attention in time, simply turn the buckle over so that the clasp opens in a different direction. Parenting.com: Easy, do-anywhere Pilates moves
How to defuse road rage
We've all been there: You're making great time on a trip home from the mall and then, bam!, traffic. Your child, who was happy moving at 50 miles per hour, is hysterical when your speedometer drops below 10. Some quick tricks to avoid crying jags. Parenting.com: 30+ easy ways to pamper yourself
1. Turn on cool tunes
As soon as you see a stream of brake lights ahead, pop in a customized CD that sings your child's name in every stanza ($14.95 to $19.95; mymusiccd.com).
"When my girls hear their names in a song, they instantly stop crying," says Tomlin, who's the author of "Chaos 2 Calm: The Moms of Multiples' Guide to an Organized Family" and mom of 3-year-old twins, Peyton and Sydney.
2. Dial it in
Low-tone cell-phone ringtones can be calming, says Catalano. And that's why when Nancy Caron's 18-month-old son, Parker, is inconsolable, she whips out her cell phone and plays tones that are heavy on the drum and bass. (If she's in the driver's seat, she pulls over first!)
3. Stash some magnets
Dig out an old metal cake pan or small cookie sheet and load it up with large magnetic pictures or letters (they should be larger than 1¾ inches in diameter). The magic of magnetism can keep them entertained for hours (okay...many, many minutes).
Three nighttime tips
1. Think Big To avoid 2 a.m. diaper leaks, Brooke Harmon of Phoenix puts her son in a diaper one size up: "It absorbs all the pee and never makes a mess."
2. Go backward
Tonia Tomlin of Plano, Texas, got so tired of her twin daughters' late-night ritual of ripping off their pjs that she put their footless zip-up sleepers on backward.
3. Do diaper prep
Pre-fill newborn dipes with ointment before bed to save time during middle-of-the-night changes.
Better mothering through technology
Heather Gibbs Flett and Whitney Moss, authors of "The Rookie Mom's Handbook," offer up four ways to convert your iPhone into the ultimate mother's helper.
1. Make it a baby monitor
You're at a dinner party and are worried you won't hear your sleeping baby in your host's bedroom.
Download the application at codegoo.com/page/baby-monitor ($4.99), then stash your phone near the babe.
If he stirs, your phone will call a number you've chosen (e.g., Daddy's cell).
2. Let it lull
Download the white-noise ambient application ($1.99; tmsoft.com/iphone-whitenoise.html) and place the phone in your baby's car seat or stroller.
The app also offers a variety of sounds, including some as quietly calming as lapping waves and rain.
3. Turn it into a tracker
Log your baby's diaper changes and feedings with the applications at andesigned.net (99¢, $7.99).
Both store a history of your data, in case you need to share it with your doctor.
4. Have it wooo them download the wooo button
(iphoneappreviews.net/2008/08/01/wooo-button). It's simple: You press a button and a man shouts "Wooo!" Kids love it, and it's so harmlessly addictive that you'll be amazed at what you can accomplish!
Must-know multitasker
Now that you have a kid, you'll never get to go to the bathroom alone again. How to master the pee-and-feed with ease.
1. Wear elastic-waist pants or a comfy skirt you can lift with one hand.
2. Get the babe happily latched on.
3. Do your business.
4. Flush later -- no need to chance a startle.
Tasty teething trick
Frozen washcloths are great, but your baby may stay at it longer and get more relief if you add some flavor into the mix. Parenting.com: The REAL way to prep for breastfeeding
Try putting large chunks of these in a mesh teether:
Sour pickles (surprised? kids adore all things tangy)
Cool cucumbers
Sweet carrots
Stand-Up comedy (aka the vertical diaper change)
1. Wrap one arm around your child's belly to hold him still, then tear off the old dipe.
2. Ask him to touch his toes if he can, then use your free hand to wipe.
3. Place new diaper over the front of his body, push it through his legs, and then over his butt.
4.Secure tabs. Hike it up gently, then adjust tabs again if necessarySource
Depending upon how old you are, you may be returning to high school, starting off your freshmen year of college , or even simply taking classes as your time and budget allow. The important thing is that no matter what is going on, you are continuing your education. Your perseverance will ultimately shine through all of the difficult times that come with the territory of being a teen parent, and as your daughter or son grow and evolve into an older and more mature child, he or she will see what you did for yourself and for them.
The number one reason most teen parents seem to give for not continuing their education after the birth of their child is that they don't feel they have the time to dedicate to class work and homework. The truth however is that as a teen parent, you can't afford to not continue your education. Children grow bigger and smarter every single day, and as they become strong confident toddlers, and then bold children, and even on into terrible teenagers - you need to be prepared to secure the life and well being of your individual family unit. The only way to make sure you are able to provide for you and your child is through education, which will open so many doors that have otherwise shut themselves. You can also use your education as a way to validate yourself, and prove that there is so much more to you than just the inexperienced, and scared young parent that people may try to label you as.
If you are heading to school, and your tot is headed to day care, here are some simple ways to make your school days run much smoother:
* Layout both your clothes and your child's clothes the night before: this includes pants, shirts, under garments, socks, shoes, hair brushes, book bags - anything you and your child will need the next morning. By making sure that you've got these set out, you have one less thing to worry about while you're trying to start your day. Check the weather before you lay out your clothes though, so no one ends up wearing sun dresses in the snow.
* Establish a morning routine: It's not just your kid that will benefit from knowing what comes next, you will too! Minimize your morning confusion by having a set of standard practices you and your child adhere to every day. Try waking up, going to the restroom, getting ready, and then helping your little one. If you have an older child, charge them with the responsibility of putting on the clothes you both laid out the night before and washing their face. Make sure you double check their work before you head out the door! Once you arrive at preschool with princess still in her pajamas, you might not have the time to run home and change.
* Maximize your time apart: if you are at school, and your child is at day care or being watched by a gracious friend make sure you are actually spending your time doing the things that need to be done. If you are staying at home and working on homework or a project - turn off the T.V, lock the doors, and hunker down. If you have extra time - spend some of it cleaning - so when your bambino gets home you don't have to fret over the mess you're walking into. If you're at school while you're away from your baby - use free periods or lunch hours to complete your homework, and DO NOT allow yourself to get behind. Time management is a major key to being successful at any stage in life.
* Set an early bed time for your child: Ms. Kimberly Cochran, who earned her High School Diploma, her Certified Nursing Assistant certification, as well as her Bachelor's's degree and Master's Degree after having her daughter at the age of 17 urges that setting an early bedtime for her daughter was one of the most important keys to ensuring her academic success. "Giving Mikayla an early bedtime so that I had the opportunity to get my work done after she went to bed [was something that helped me get this far]. I couldn't have done it otherwise, because I can't work with distractions." Let your child go to bed early, and then get right on your homework. If your child isn't used to going to bed early - it may be a difficult transition at first, but you can help by trying to wake them up a little bit sooner.
* Make lists: The key to feeling as if you can handle your school work, raising your child, and your life is organization. Buy a small notebook, and keep a list of your daily goals, your week goals, and even your month long goals. Write down appointments, errands, and household chores so you can visually see what you have to do, and organize when you do things by level of importance. Lifehack.com offers some great tips on how to get organized, and then stay there.
* Take some R&R: the effects of R&R are grossly underestimated by mothers of every age around the world, and the amount of R&R needed to be effective is greatly overestimated. The truth is that every mother of every age needs some time to themselves to unwind and mentally and physically reset. But also remember, that while it's important to take some "Me Time" it's also important to spend your downtime with your child. Block out time every day where the computer, telephone and TV are off limits, and your only focus is your child. Let them pick the activity or set up something special and fun to do. At night, after they are asleep, try taking between a half hour to an hour twice a week to pamper yourself. Try meditating, or taking a long hot bath and painting your toenails. Be careful though, don't over-indulge and get too lax in your scheduling.
Using these 6 tips will help you keep your feet on the ground, and your heart in the right place as you embark on your adventure through one of the most challenging and rewarding parts of being a young parent. Remember that there will be difficult days, but take those days in stride, and always try to make sure you aren't taking the stress and frustration out on your child. Keep your goals realistic, and in no time you'll be done with your education - and on to more amazing things!
Source
So much of the imagery surrounding modern parenthood is negative: endless drudgery, chaos, stress, clueless dads and harpy mums. Our childless friends ask us in wide-eyed horror if it’s really as bad as "they" say, and if so, why on earth would anyone have a child?
There is a better way, and Marc and Amy Vachon think they have found it. The Massachusetts couple has developed a parenting style they call "Equally Shared Parenting," or ESP for short. They share their ideas via a website, equallysharedparenting.com and a forthcoming book, Equally Shared Parenting: Rewriting the Rules for a New Generation of Parents. In short, the philosophy behind ESP is that neither spouse acts as understudy or manager to the other, that both are equally competent and responsible in all areas of family life. "ESP couples feel that their lives are happiest if they can both spend about the same amount of time on average in paid work endeavours, in caring for their home, in taking care of their children, and in their own outside interests,?" says Amy Vachon.
Sounds good? We think so too. Here’s Marc and Amy’s suggestions for making such a life work:
It’s not about the laundry. Too often, both Marc and Amy say, people hear about the concept and immediately think it’s about getting a lazy dad to do more. "It’s not what we are saying at all," Marc Vachon says. "I presume (fathers) are working as much as their wives are, and there’s a need to reshuffle things and work as much as you’re working now, but get balance and equality back in your life. It’s so you can live in a place where you like your life, instead of trying to get through life."
For true equality, both of you work outside the home, in paid jobs. While the Vachons stress that the ESP model isn’t a the right answer for every family, it requires that the breadwinning burden is shared as much as all the other aspects of running a family. And there are benefits to that as well. For example, both Marc and Amy work part-time schedules and that allows them more time for everything; having just one of them be the breadwinner wouldn’t allow such flexibility. "Having Amy on board to solve the family breadwinning puzzle allows us to optimise our income and schedule instead of always trying to maximise our income," Marc says.
Look at the recession as an opportunity. While the conventional wisdom says "show up early, stay late, take on extra work" to prove your value to an employer, asking for more flexibility might actually be a good idea in these times, Amy says. Companies might not be able to offer raises, but they might jump at the chance to keep a valued employee at a reduced schedule — and corresponding salary cut. "If our companies are faced with a decision between layoffs and reducing employees hours, we might be able to jump at the chance to try out a new work schedule that could lead to an epiphany about the value of money versus time," Amy says.
Rethink what work means to you. Is it part of a balanced life, or is it at the center of your life? Marc Vachon actually stepped back from the career treadmill well before having kids, transitioning from engineering to an IT job and working a reduced schedule. He did so in order to have time to pursue his other interests and actually enjoy both his job and his life, a pattern that fit well once he and Amy married and their children came along. And while that means he’s unlikely to ever see the corner office and company car, he’s okay with that. "My educational background suggests that I could have chosen a steeper career trajectory with accompanying time commitments," he says, "but I don’t suspect it could have brought me any more joy."
Embrace your own competence as a person, partner and parent. That goes for both partners, and it’s key to the whole idea of equally shared parenting. If you trust your partner to handle things at home as well as you would, that means you can wander off for a bike ride or dance class without feeling guilty, especially since your partner will be getting the same freedom and accommodation of their interests as well. "Neither of us has to do any preparation in order to leave the house or the kids in the capable hands of our spouse, and therefore we are then able to concentrate on simply finding the time to get out," Amy says.
Communicate with each other and adjust if things are getting out of balance. Mark and Amy’s children are six and four years old, and the way they work things out now differs from the way they did it when their kids were young. "That first six months of babydom involves so much sleep deprivation and potential anxiety, and is often a set-up in our culture for women to take on the lion’s share of the caregiving, so we had to be pretty cognisant of staying the course," Amy says. Other times that have required a fair amount of communication and adjustment were a period of unemployment for Marc and currently, while they are writing their book about ESP. But equally shared parenting does not, alas, lead to a partnership and life blissfully free of conflict. "We have to deal with all the same stuff most couples have to deal with, Mark says. "Since we have a framework that we talk about so often, it forces us to talk about things instead of letting it simmer."
Perhaps most importantly, remember that you’re on the same team — something the traditional model of parenting, with its separate spheres for each spouse, does not emphasise. Part of what inspired them to come up with this model of parenting was the negative image of parenting in much of the literature. "Those mummy-misery books scared me, and at the same time made me angry because they never seemed to mention men," Amy says. "I realised that Marc’s role was entirely invisible in these angry depictions of the state of… motherhood, and I held onto the ideal of an equal partnership for dear life all through my first pregnancy."
At heart, Amy says, it’s that neither parent gets an exclusive hold on the "good stuff" — whether that be career satisfaction, time with the kids, or time to themselves. "ESP is not about scorekeeping or making sure the time comes out exactly even; rather, the couple is sustained by the idea that a happy partner makes for a happy relationship, which makes for a great life — and they want to make sure their partner gets his/her fair share of the fun."
As the nation prepares to vote in the smacking referendum, several high-profile Kiwis are asked how they go about the tricky task of parenting without resorting to a whack.
NIGEL LATTA
Clinical psychologist, father of two, author of Mothers Raising Sons, host of The Politically Incorrect Parenting Show
Latta says a child's role is to try to rule the world so parents need a discipline structure.
"It's about having clear lines. You have punishment if they cross the line and there's good stuff if they stay on the other side."
Latta uses an early bedtime scale called "the ladder of certain doom". When his boys behave inappropriately they lose 15 minutes from their bedtime. Around dinner time they ask Latta how much time they've lost and they can either do jobs to make up time or go to bed early.
Latta also advocates boredom as the best tool a parent can have and to use it as a consequence. "When a child is little, a smack can work in a sense it gets their attention, but in my experience it doesn't work anywhere near as well as boredom."
He says although yelling feels good and can be used occasionally, it makes things worse. He recommends sending the child to their room until the parent feels less irritated.
ROBYN MALCOLM
Outrageous Fortune star; mother of Charlie, five, and Peter, two
At the top of Malcolm's toolkit are routine, exhausting the boys' endless energy, and being sympathetic when they are tired or hungry.
"Tired, hungry little boys are the worst creatures on the planet. I'd rather be in the water with a great white shark than in the kitchen with tired, hungry little boys. Look, if I'm tired and hungry I'm a bloody nightmare, and I'm a grown-up."
Malcolm is so hot on routine she has sung her children the same song before bed since they were very small. She focuses on consistency, so the boys are clear on right and wrong.
"If they are aware on a daily basis that certain behaviour is just not acceptable, and like clockwork they do it and there is the same repeated consequence, after a while it just gets boring."
She sets clear boundaries and uses meaningful threats and time out for undesirable behaviour. She says follow-through is crucial. "The minute you go `oh no no no darling if you do that then this will happen' and then nothing happens, they've got you on toast."
MIKE HALL
Bass guitarist with rock band Pluto; father of four girls with wife Kate
Hall rates routine as top of the list for their Auckland household.
"Routine to us is more important than extracurricular activity. Our kids absolutely flourish with routine. Routines can be broken on occasion, but it means they sleep better, they behave better, and they eat better."
Hall began reading parenting books when he became a stepdad to Jaime and Eden when they were both under three. He says he was lucky to have Kate, who was using loss of privilege and time out as techniques, as an influence.
"One of our girls is a really social person and doesn't want to miss out. I love it, but at night time it's problematic she doesn't like the door shut because she can't hear what's going on. So we say `if you don't go to sleep I'm going to close the door'."
He also relies on the support of family, friends, Plunket, books and the internet. "I haven't been afraid to call up my mother-in-law, my sister or sister-in-law and say `look I'm not too sure what to do'. Their idea might not work either, but at least you've had a bit of a brainstorm."
Hall believes smacking is ineffective, and time out works.
"I don't think kids learn any more quickly when they get smacked. Time out and very stern behaviour is just as effective, and it provides techniques for people to use on their own." As a result the two youngest girls (aged three and five) use time out with each other.
PETRA BAGUST
Television presenter, mother of three children (aged two, four and six years)
Bagust says she focuses on providing a constructive, love-based parenting system for her three children.
"As parents we are teachers. I'm passionate about the fact that discipline has to be positive. This is something I'm working towards. I looked at my children one day and I realised you're actual proper fully formed human beings, you will one day be an adult and I must treat you with respect."
Bagust and husband Hamish use time out, but believe the environment it is carried out in is what's important.
"The child just needs to be given a bit of space, to get out of the moment. They still need to be connected to the social environment and more often than not they can be comforted in time out. We will sit with them and say `do you need a cuddle', and `I still love you but that wasn't OK'."
Bagust says she has had to develop realistic expectations of her children. "It's about believing that your child, in their heart, really wants to please you which is something I think we forget.
"I have shouted at my children and I have threatened my children [but] the realisation I had at that moment was it was fear-based parenting."
For parenting advice visit:
www.familiescommission.govt.nz/; www.familyservices.govt.nz/info-for-families/ www.barnardos.org.nz
To take part in the Sunday Star-Times Alternative Smacking Referendum go to www.mysundayview.co.nz/smackingsurvey. The survey closes at 5pm Wednesday July 29.
THE STORY SO FAR
2005: Green MP Sue Bradford introduces bill, removing from the Crimes Act a parent's defence of "reasonable force" in correcting a child.
May 2007: Bill containing compromise amendments passes on third reading and act comes into force the following month.
August 2008: Parliament agrees to referendum after 310,000-strong petition. May 2009: Government announces postal referendum asking "Should a smack as part of good parental correction be a criminal offence in New Zealand?".
June 2009: Prime Minister John Key describes the question as "weird" and says he won't vote. The government is not obliged to take any action as a result of the referendum.
Married to the military? As the nation thinks about its independence this 4th of July, momlogic gives thought to the service members who protect our country, and the wives and mothers who support them by holding down the home front.
Kimberly Seals Allers: With frequent relocation and limited school options, raising well-adjusted, confident kids takes real parenting moxie. Here are some time-tested and military-mom-approved tips for raising kids in the military lifestyle.
Raising a Military Brat?
With frequent relocation, military kids face a new house, new friends, new schools, and other big changes, sometimes as often as every three years. What's more, their military parent is on an endless cycle of living in the home one minute, being gone the next, and then back again. It's usually up to Mom to create stability, take on the bulk of the parenting role, and make every transition as smooth as possible. How? By having a positive attitude, keeping the lines of communication open, and maintaining consistency in the "how," rather than focus on the "where." Try these military spouse parenting tips:
1) Manage Moving
Moving is part and parcel of the military life. But the kids aren't going to like it if they always hear you complaining about what a h*llhole the new base city is. Be positive. You need to sell it! Use the Internet to find places of interest, their favorite sports activities, or dance programs in the area. Then make the actual move an adventure. Plan some fun activities for the transitional period between leaving the old house and moving into the new one. And see if there are any kid-friendly fun spots along the way if you're driving to your new home.
2) Create Family Traditions
Having family traditions from Friday taco nights to eating out the night before school starts can help the kids have a routine and familiarity no matter where they are.
3) Make School Transitions Easier
For some military kids, it seems that just when they have gotten used to a school, it is time to move again. To help ease the transition, one military spouse contacted the new teacher and set up a pen pal system. The students sent letters and pictures with brief introductions, and her child did the same. By the time they arrived at their new station, her son was looking forward to his new class. If possible, choose a school where there will be other military children. Also, be sure to check out the school's website for any extracurricular activities, and ask the coach or teacher for a peer buddy. Check out Military Students on the Move: A Toolkit for Military Parents (scroll halfway down the page to find the free pdf publication).
4) Develop Single Parent Survival Skills
Let's face it, military spouses are technically single parents most of the time. To keep your sanity and your home running smoothly, get the kids involved in all aspects of the house. Limit the number of activities each child participates in. Ask for help from family and friends. Post chore lists and schedules to make things easier.
5) Keep Kids Close to Extended Family
Cousins, grandparents, and other extended family members are great connectors for your kids. Keep in telephone, e-mail, or webcam communication with family members and visit as often as possible. Including family members on vacations, exchanging photos, e-mails, and letters, and celebrating important life events together are more great ways to stay in touch and create stability for military kids.
New parents often have many questions when it comes to Mom and baby's nutrition. How will Mom cope with "morning" sickness? Will you choose breast milk or formula for baby? Here are some key steps for keeping your family happy and healthy during these new and exciting times.
Morning sickness: Nausea and vomiting can occur at any time of day during pregnancy, and for some, well past the first trimester. What's going on? A surge and change in hormones are suspected. To reduce symptoms of "morning" sickness eat small, frequent meals (including snacks) throughout the day. Stay clear of strong flavors and odors - and follow a low-fat (not fat-free!) meal plan. Before getting out of bed in the morning, eat. Keep a snack-size pouch of pretzels or crackers on your bedside table to nibble on before leaving your bed. Eating a bedtime snack rich in protein and heart-healthy fats such as plain yogurt mixed with granola may also reduce symptoms as well.
Save money while eating on the fly: Personal schedules often pick up pace closer to baby's due date. Family budgets can suddenly become of utmost importance, too - especially if taking leave from work. Save money and build healthy meals at home. Plan weekly menus based upon schedules and meal plan needs. On the days you cook, keep it simple. Create colorful, heart-healthy meals with whole grains, vegetables and lean meats.
Breast milk or formula? Breast milk is the best nutritional choice for most babies. It allows mom to pass along precious immune defense compounds, as well as essential nutrients tailored directly to each stage of a baby's development. That said, strictly breast feeding for the first six months of life and supplementation with infant-appropriate solid foods between 6 to 12 months is nutritionally preferred. If breastfeeding isn't an option, choose a formula that's convenient and similar in composition to mom's milk.
Solids - which ones? After baby's first month or so of eating solids, you may notice they're ready to move past rice cereal. Regardless whether you plan on preparing baby's food from scratch or not, commercially prepared options deserve consideration. They allow flexibility with schedules, travel, out-of-home care and family visits. When choosing a line of baby food, focus on brands offering all-natural, single foods and "mixed" meals without preservatives, artificial colors, added sodium and sugars.
To juice or not to juice? This is a common topic of debate for parents. Do children need juice? No. Whole fruits can provide one's daily servings of fruit. Can juice help meet daily servings of fruit? Yes, if it's 100 percent juice. If offering juice, keep these in mind: Don't offer juice before 6 months of age; only offer it in a cup, never in a bottle; and keep daily serving sizes to no more than 4 to 6 ounces for children ages 1 to 6.
By arming yourself with nutritional strategies early on, you'll be ready to tackle anything that comes your way - keeping Mom and baby healthy for optimal growth and development. Carrie Taylor is a registered dietitian and licensed dietitian nutritionist with Big Y. If you have a nutrition question, e-mail her at askcarrie@bigy .com or write Ask Carrie, 2145 Roosevelt Ave, P.O. Box 7840, Springfield, MA 01102.
New Book, the "Ultimate Baby Bargain Guide", for Expectant Parents Released
0 comments Posted by RR at 6:17 AMGeorgetown, KY (PRWEB) -- The "Ultimate Baby Bargain Guide" is now available at http://www.MommyDaddySavers.com. The guide is designed especially for first-time parents, but can help all new and expectant parents formulate, plan, and prepare for the financial aspects of having a baby. In fact, the authors themselves have personally saved thousands of dollars over what the average parent spends and compiled everything in this quick, easy-to-read Guide.
"We've left no stone unturned," says Joshua McDonald, author. "We only spent $300 total on baby supplies during the first year including the crib, nursery décor, changing table, dresser, baby bath items, breast pump, bottles, toys and clothes. We outline in this guide exactly how we did it."
This guide carefully explores the critical financial issues of having a baby with tips and instructions from when you start trying to get pregnant all the way through baby's first year. It says that the expenses can be overwhelming and if not well planned can lead to serious problems including martial tensions. Parents who fail to plan should be prepared to cope with a huge amount of debt.
The "Ultimate Baby Bargain Guide" is divided into eleven information rich chapters that reveal everything from preparing a budget to finding baby bargains both online and offline. This includes how to get no or low-cost baby clothes, maternity bargains, information on baby clubs, and links to websites that took over 2 years to find. The guide even includes helpful information about maternity insurance and what to do if you find out your pregnant and your insurance plan does not cover pregnancy.
The response to this guide has been overwhelming. Tammy Brown from Versailles, KY says, "My kids are already five and three, so I thought I knew most of the tricks, but I was pleasantly surprised. There are definitely some new ones for me here! I'll be referring to this guide for baby number three. I'm a stay-at-home mom so any new bargain information really catches my eye. What I like most about this guide are the website recommendations and the recipes for homemade art materials."
About the Authors:
Joshua & Shauna McDonald are the owners of the website http://www.mommydaddysavers.com. They help many expectant and new parents to better financially prepare for having a baby. They offer the "Ultimate Baby Bargain Guide", which is the compilation of absolute best ways to get bargains on baby clothes, furniture, toys, and more. To learn more about the Ultimate Baby Bargain Guide you can just log on to http://www.mommydaddysavers.com.
According to Meriden's housing statistics for 2008, there are 4914 single-parent households. That's a lot of people that are trying to make ends meet on their own. It's difficult for a married couple to hold down two jobs, be able to afford their mortgage and keep up with all the household work that needs to be done. On top of that add children into the mix. Now take one of the partners out of the picture and you have us. That's right, the single parent who's doing it all: bath time, making dinner, cleaning, providing the roof over their cute little heads. How we have done it up to now we don’t know. We just plod along, cut corners and somehow make it work.
Even if you don’t keep up with the news, you’d have to have been living in a cave this past year to not be aware of the spiraling economy. It’s impacted everyone and everything. Groceries have gone up, gas is more expensive and our salaries (if you’re lucky enough to have not been laid off by now) are still the same. So how can you make it work when it was barely working before? It’s not easy, but we just have to cut more corners and be smarter with our money. It’s a very challenging time for everyone, but even more so for single-parents trying to raise and support their children on their own. The bottom line is a very basic economic rule, either make more or spend less.
Spending less can seem impossible at first. It takes some practice and maybe some creativity, but it can be done. If you go out for lunch, start buying and making your lunch at home. A medium coffee from a coffee shop can cost you about $2.00 - that’s $10.00 a week if you buy one every day. All those things add up quickly. It’s more cost effective to buy a thermos and make coffee at home. Start clipping coupons and buy only those items that are on sale. If you don’t know where to start, keep a journal of everything you buy and what it costs for at least a week. At the end, analyze the amount of your income that goes to frivolous purchases and then stop buying them. Some good ways to decrease your bills are to cut down on the little extras. For example, do you have the gold star phone plan on your home phone and cell phone? Why? Most cell phone basic plans include caller id, call waiting and free long distance. Cut your home phone plan down to the bare minimum and save $10-$20 per month. The same goes for your cable, do you really need 75 movie channels? The answer is, “No, you do not!” Get rid of the expensive package and get basic cable. You can rent unlimited movies from NetFlix for as little at $9.00 a month with no late fees.
If you’re not a good saver, you’re going to need to earn more money. As single-parents, we hardly have the luxury of picking up overtime because that would probably warrant child care…or your sanity if you’re already working full time. One option is a home-based business. There are a lot of home-business opportunities out there, but you have to wary of those that claim to make you $1000 per week for making a couple of phone calls. Those with a hefty start-up cost are not attractive either. Ideally you want something that you like to do and has the potential to make you some extra cash. Some valid home-based businesses that I have been involved with are sales/consulting business such as Usborne Books & More. They won’t make you rich overnight, but you can do most of the work while your kids are asleep. The best part is that you make your own hours and can work as little or as much as you want.
There are ways to keep your head above water during the coming months, just dig deep and set your mind to it.
LOS ANGELES — Their names are eerily known to many: Adam Walsh, Polly Klaas, Amber Hagerman, some of the children who have come to symbolize families shattered through abductions and murders.
But they also represent hope in the form of new laws and other public policies aimed at keeping kids safe.
Ahead of National Missing Children's Day on Monday, safety experts emphasized that most child abduction cases result in family reunions. Since 1990, the recovery rate of missing children has jumped from 62 percent to 97 percent, according to the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children.
The special day was created in the 1980s to help make that happen, offering tips for parents and spotlighting children who have yet to be found. Safety events around the country this month have been compiled by the national center and posted on its parenting site, take25.org.
Nancy McBride, safety director for the center, and Robin Sax, a former Los Angeles County prosecutor who specialized in crimes against children, urged parents not to shy away from the subject in gently teaching children as young as toddlers how to stay safe. They also said it's a process that should continue through the teen years.
It's a grim topic, but the two said parents should talk repeatedly with children about who they can trust and how they can avoid predators both online and in their neighborhoods. The key is to avoid scare tactics, McBride said.
"Fear is a paralyzing element," she said. "It doesn't help anybody learn anything."
Instead, use "teachable moments," everyday incidents children experience that emphasize safety, said Sax, who recently published the book "Predators and Child Molesters: What Every Parent Needs to Know to Keep Kids Safe."
Both women warn parents against falling into overly traditional notions of who's out to harm their children. So-called "Stranger Danger" can hinder youngsters from getting help if they're lost, McBride said. Besides, strangers often aren't the ones to worry about.
"The very real issue is that the real danger to kids is from somebody they know rather than somebody they don't know," McBride said.
More tips on educating younger children:
- Start talking early, but keep the tone informal. "When you go out to a mall, make it a teachable moment," McBride said. "Then go get some pizza."
- Listen carefully to what children say. It can indicate what areas parents need to work on and help them spot abuse, Sax said.
- Tell children to go with their gut and get away from people who make them uncomfortable. "They don't have to be polite," McBride said.
- When explaining inappropriate touching, Sax said use swimwear as a guide: "Anything your bathing suit covers isn't a place that anyone's allowed to touch."
When children learn core safety values at a young age, it can then be adapted as they grow to take on new scenarios involving such things as the Internet. More tips on educating older children:
- Set boundaries. "You're paying the bill on the cell phone, you set the rules," McBride said.
- Don't let children roam online unchecked. "Even if you're not a technology maven, you've still got the experience and the judgment your child doesn't have," McBride said.
- Remind them it's not just about safety, but also about reputation. A provocative cell phone shot or embarrassing video can come back to haunt a teen well into adulthood, McBride said.
- Let children go online when they're ready, but do it safely. Instead of letting them jump straight to MySpace or Facebook too young, Sax recommended Disney's Club Penguin or similar entertainment fare.
- Get your children to show you what they know. "I play a little bit dumb," Sax said. She gets her teens to show her around such sites as Facebook and YouTube. "They're teaching me," Sax said, but at the same time she's "able to assess their maturity and growth."
If abuse is suspected, Sax said it's important for parents to let law enforcement take over. Evidence can be tainted and prosecutions derailed if parents confront suspected abusers or conduct their own investigations, she said.
If a child goes missing, McBride advised that parents do a quick search of their home and vehicles, then contact police. There's no waiting period to file a missing person report on children, and time is of the essence.
Not all missing child cases have happy endings.
The national center was founded in 1984 after several high-profile cases, including the 1981 disappearance and murder of 6-year-old Adam Walsh in Florida. In 1993, 12-year-old Polly Klaas was abducted and murdered in California. Amber Hagerman, 9, was kidnapped and murdered in Texas in 1996. Amber Alerts for missing children were named for her, and are now used in all 50 states.
Sax, the mother of three, said safety training for children is a necessary first step in making sure fewer tragedies occur, and it's just good parenting.
"Parenting is the one job that if you're successful at it you get fired at the end," Sax said.
The free parenting workshop, entitled "How to Get Your Kids to Listen and Cooperate: Connect!", which was held at the Lutheran School of Venice on Tuesday, May 19, 2009, was a great success.
A large group of parents turned up to hear parenting expert, Vickie Holland, provide tips on how to improve their parenting and gain more cooperation from their children. Parents identified a lack of cooperation from their children and their own resulting frustrations as areas in which they hoped Holland would be able to help them.
Holland was an engaging and entertaining speaker. She invited audience participation and engaged in role-playing to illustrate her point.
Connecting with children based on their emotional needs
With a great sense of humor, she started off by highlighting that children have four emotional needs: to feel (i) powerful, (ii) heard, (iii) important and (iv) loved.
And she defined three levels that parents tend to connect to their children on.
Low level connecting involves neglect.
Medium level connecting is when a parent is present with their agenda in mind. For example, when the parent takes the child grocery shopping, or when a parent is cooking and the child is playing nearby. She expressed that a "lot of life is here" meaning that parents necessarily engage in a lot of medium level connecting because of their varied responsibilities.
High level connecting involves being present with your child's emotional agenda in mind. Holland states that a few of these moments a day can help tremendously in cutting down misbehavior. This is the ideal.
A guide for connecting at a high level
According to Holland, parents must take eight steps to engage in high-level connecting with their children.
The first and most important step is for parents to create positive energy by setting their intention to connect peacefully and at a high level. One can do this by using self talk or breathing techniques to get into the right frame of mind. Furthermore, Holland recommends building a "reservoir of peace" by taking at least ten to fifteen minutes each day to do something to nurture yourself, emotionally, physically, mentally or spiritually. Doing this allows one not to resent the constant care-taking that a parent has to undertake every day.
The second step is to make warm and loving eye contact so that the child feels important.
Third, get on the child's level when speaking to the child, creating a balance of power in the relationship through your body language.
Fourth, a loving touch should be applied. Fifth, deploy that smile.
Sixth, and rather unexpectedly, Holland recommends using fewer words to get better results.
Seventh, parents should ask questions that involve the child in the decision making process, so that the child feels some ownership with regard to what he has to do. Holland recommends getting out of the habit of giving out orders.
Finally, the parent should give the child information about the situation and get information from the child, so they can respond appropriately.
Measuring your success
What made Holland's workshop interesting was that she answered parents specific questions, and illustrated how to implement this eight step strategy by role playing, which also made the presentation more entertaining. Most importantly, however, she advised implementing her strategies in small steps. And with great insight reminded parents that they know their children best and should implement strategies that work for them. "I speak as if this is truth" Holland said, "But it's up to you to decide what is true. You know your children best."
Parenting is a process of bringing up the child. It is a method of growing a child with full love and care. This process of parenting starts right from the child’s childhood that is when they are the small babies. Thus it is known as baby parenting that is helping a baby to grow, develop with much needed love and affection.
Initially when your baby is small he may not jell with you properly due to various reasons. But not to worry you can adopt various steps to solve this problem. Some of the things that you can do as a part of baby parenting are as follows:
(1) Spend as much time as possible with your baby. This will help you to know the baby better and also the baby to know you. You may come across its various likes and dislikes which will help you to jell with the baby. Thus is a very important part of baby parenting.
(2) Take care of your baby’s needs and wishes that is whether he or she likes toys? Or whether he or she wants to sleep? Or whether he or she is hungry and requires something to eat? Looking after such questions will help you for the growth of baby.
(3) Do not pamper the baby a lot. Do complete the baby’s wish but only the one which are wanted and necessary. Otherwise there is a possibility of your baby being spoilt right from her childhood. Surely your baby will cry for that moments but it is good as compared to he or she being spoilt.
(4) Visit your doctor regularly. This will definitely help you to know your baby better. Doctors are the one who can tell the babies problem within no time. So they can help you a lot regarding various matters of your baby.
(5) Look after the baby very minutely. Always keep them under the microscope. Do not leave them only as they are still unaware about what is going on around them there is a possibility of they harming themselves. This will not keep the baby as well its parents to be happy as baby will cry if it hurts itself and the parents become very emotional when they see their baby crying.
(6) You can help your baby walk by using a crib but make sure that your baby likes it. Crib allows your baby to start learning walking at a relatively very young age. This is not a very essential part of baby parenting but it helps in the growth and development of the baby.
(7) Similarly taking your baby to a garden or somewhere else where the ambience is good will help your baby to know the outside world. This will also help the baby for its growth and development.
Thus you should remember one important point while dealing with various above points that you should always treat your baby with much needed love and care. This will always help your baby to grow and develop faster.
There is something fascinating about twins and many women long for a twin pregnancy. In recent years, the number of women having a twin pregnancy or even higher types of multiple pregnancies such as sextuplets has increased. This is due to a large number of reasons. Many women simply want to have a twin pregnancy so that they do not need to have another pregnancy to produce a sibling for an only child. The trauma of birth is often something that many women feel that they only want to go through once and having twins would be the perfect answer.
Twins do hold a particular fascination for a lot of people and a lot of research has been done into how a woman can increase the chances of her having a twin pregnancy. Some of the results are fairly unusual. For instance, the mother's diet may influence whether she has a higher chance of a twin pregnancy. There are more twins in certain cultures and one of these is a tribe where they eat a lot of yams. So, there is a theory that it is a certain chemical in the yams that helps the women in this culture have a twin pregnancy. Obviously, the mother needs to eat re than just yams to have a healthy pregnancy but it is an interesting theory that she may want to consider if she wants a twin pregnancy.
If a woman is breastfeeding when she conceives then she is more likely to have a twin pregnancy than women who were not breastfeeding. The breastfeeding causes a reduction in the amount of calcium in the woman's system and this has an effect on the egg during conception and ovulation can increase the chances of her having a twin pregnancy.
Older women are more likely to have a twin pregnancy. There is an increased ovulation of multiple eggs in older women and this can lead to a higher chance of the woman having a twin pregnancy. Fertility treatments can also lead to an increased chance of multiple pregnancies. It is also evident that women from African backgrounds are more likely to have pregnancies that are twins or more.
There used to be a theory that twins actually skipped a generation but now it is widely believed that a twin is more likely to have a twin pregnancy themselves. Obviously, this is genetic, but it is another point to consider if you are a twin and want to become pregnant. Similarly, if your family history or that of your partner's has a lot of twins then there is an increased chance that you will have a twin pregnancy too.
There are various types of pregnancy due date calculator that health professionals can use to determine the due date of a baby. In the very early stages of a pregnancy the most frequently used types of pregnancy due date calculator involve using the date that a woman had her last menstrual cycle and the usual length of her period. This type of pregnancy due date calculator is only a rough estimator of when a baby is actually due. A number of factors make this type of pregnancy due date calculator being less than accurate. The most important factor is using this form of pregnancy due date calculator is that a woman needs to know the date of her last period. If she has missed more than one menstrual cycle before she thinks that she may be pregnant then her accurate recollection of the date of her last menstrual cycle is not very reliable. A woman may not have a period or may suffer from irregular menstrual cycles and this makes the date of her last period even less accurate for the pregnancy due date calculator.
The pregnancy due date calculator not only works with the inaccurate information provided about the date of a woman's last menstrual cycle but also assumes that every woman has a menstrual cycle of 28 days. This means that in the early stages of pregnancy a pregnancy due date calculator can only used to produce an estimated due date for the baby. Of course, your health professional will use this type of pregnancy due date calculator in the initial stages of your pregnancy to give a general timeline for the pregnancy but it is important to remember that the estimated due date given can be extremely inaccurate.
After approximately ten weeks a woman is usually given a scan to help more accurately assess the length of the pregnancy. The size of the growing foetus can be used from these ultrasound scans to provide various measurements which are used in a pregnancy due date calculator to determine the estimated due date more accurately. For example, the length of the foetus and the size of its head at various stages throughout the pregnancy are measured and these provide more accurate figures for a pregnancy due date calculator to be able to predict the date of birth. This is because a foetus grows at a predicted rate and it is by using these measurements that a pregnancy due date calculator can give the woman the best estimate as to when her baby is due.
Blood tests that measure that amount of hCG in a woman's blood can also be used by a pregnancy due date calculator. Blood and ultrasound results are the best sources of data for a pregnancy due date calculator and are likely to provide a much more accurate due date compared to any type of pregnancy due date calculator based solely on a woman's previous menstrual period.
