So your baby has arrived and all the excitement has started to die down, but does it seem like you are being a little excluded? Mom is breastfeeding and do you wonder where you fit in when it comes to caring for your newborn?
It should make your heart swell with pride while mom bonds with your newborn, but does it seem to cause you to feel a little left out? Are you thinking there is no way you can bond with your child like a mom can? Watching the bond between your new offspring and partner grow may cause a small bit of jealousy, but don't feel helpless because there are plenty of ways to bond with your new son or daughter. However, you, as the father, have to put forth an effort to create a relationship with your baby.
Many dads feel that women just know that they are instinctively programmed on how to care for a child. In some ways this is true, but it depends on the individual. Not everyone will know how to look after an infant. First time parents sometimes wonder, during the first few weeks, "what have we gotten ourselves into?" For example, a mom who never had close involvement with looking after younger siblings or relatives, her own baby may well be her first proper experience of one. Your partner is likely to be as clueless as you are about the practicalities of looking after a baby. It is not a competition to who knows more or who can get him or her to sleep faster. Work together and bond as a family during this special time in your life.
Tips to stay involved and bond with your baby:
1. From day one, be there: Do your share of diaper-changes, baths and bedtimes right from the start so that you get to know your baby and feel confident looking after them on your own.
2. Bottle time: Give mommy a break. If your child is being breastfed, don’t forget that once breastfeeding is established, your partner can express some breast milk and you can feed it to your baby from a bottle.
3. Read or Blog it up: There is so much literature out there for new dads. It seems every local Atlanta book store has a whole section dedicated to parenting. Sometimes books can only help so much, so take a moment and do a search for some blogs that might help you out with some real-life experiences. For example, OMG I'm A Daddy, Clark Kent's Lunchbox or Luke I Am Your Father are a few blogs that might give an insight to what parenting can be like on a daily basis. You may also want to log on to www.dad-blogs.com or All top Dads to check out more popular daddy blogs. It may make you feel more confident about helping out.
4. Take baby with you: What better way to get to know your baby than to take him or her with you as you do some daily chores? Load up the stroller, in your car, and pack a personal a baby carrier, such as a baby bjorn. You can strap your child into a baby bjorn and get out in the garden or take them shopping with you are at the grocery store. Chances are your baby will enjoy being close to you and the movement may lull them to sleep.
5. Don't sleep through it: Sometimes this schedule change can really warp your brain. Be prepared to take your turn at getting up to put your baby back to sleep during the wee hours of the morning. It is a hard job, but somebody's got to do it. Dads, there is no true excuse not to help out. You may have a full-time job, but your child is a full-time job too. Even if your child is breastfed you can still wake up and go to retrieve him or her from their crib and take them to your partner. Your baby will also recognize that "daddy comes when I cry," and this is an important way to bond with your child.
6. Daddy time isn't hard work: Many dads do not have the option to be a stay at home dad. Some fathers do not get an extended paternity leave or any at all. Dads that work full-time see far less of their new babies than they’d like to due to work pressure so make an effort to get involved when you are around. For example, during weekends or vacation periods. Make a point to have a "dad and baby" bonding experience; such as going for a walk, reading a book, laying on the couch watching
a movie or maybe go for a swim! It does not matter the age of your child, it will create a memory you will always remember.
7. Let daddy try: Don’t fall into the trap of simply handing your baby back to mom when he or she starts to cry. Some infants long for the strength a father's embrace. Do not be surprised if they stop crying once you get into a groove of bouncing or rocking. There are times that your child will only want mommy, but understand there will also be those days where only daddy can soothe the crying babe. Daddy can be just as good at soothing babies as mommy. The feeling of soothing your child,
when no one else can, will supply you with an enormous amount of confidence in being a great father.
The bond of fatherhood is very important. Any guy can be a father, but it takes a real man to be a dad.
